Letting go of the past has been and still is one of the hardest things for the human race to do. Why? Sometimes I don’t get it either because so many times the past carries ugly wounds or hurts we should want to forget about, right? Well sure, but don’t we have the right to keep repeating that history over and over in our minds because…
- “I feel justified in staying stuck because I was wronged.”
- “It is someone else’s responsibility to make this better for me.”
- “If I let go, I’m somehow approving others’ bad behavior.”
- “I need an apology.”
- “Life is unfair.”
- “It was so bad that it’s not possible for me to heal.”
No! None of these are valid reasons for you to keep holding on to the past. The only one you’re hurting by doing this is yourself. And you need to stop!
Decide you want to let go. To actually let go of the past though, you’re going to have to want to. If you won’t be willing, it won’t work. Gather the courage you need, reach into that wound, get to the bottom of why it’s still there, pull out that core (along with the memories of the pain) and make peace with it and with yourself.
Accept the fact that it did hurt. Don’t ignore the pain it caused. I know it hurt you, I know they didn’t treat you right, and I know that it was unfair, but you’re only hurting yourself if you hold onto to the pain. In order to stop feeling this pain, acknowledge it, cry it out if you need to and then, let it go.
Understand and forgive. You don’t have to understand why it happened because sometimes there won’t be an explanation, but try to understand that the person who did this to you is only human and may have gone through something that caused them to hurt you. It doesn’t justify what they did to you, but it will help you to see them in a different light, making it all the easier to forgive them. And you should. You don’t have to like them or even talk to them anymore, but in order for you to be at peace, you have to find that forgiveness.
Stop touching it. Now that you know what to do, the last thing you need to remember is to stop dwelling on it. A wound that keeps being touched won’t heal, and it’s the same with emotional pain. If you keep thinking about the hurt, you will never get over it. I know it’s hard to stop it from going through your head all the time because let’s face it, everyone enjoys a self-pity party every now and then. But it’s not healthy and you’re only diminishing your future by doing this.
Letting go of past hurts is difficult, I know. And it won’t work until you’re ready to get over it. It may have been years since you were hurt, and you still can’t get over it, but it’s never too late to stop this madness. If you’re still breathing, there is the time and the possibility of letting it all go. Just take it one step at a time! In the end you’ll thank yourself.
In order to have your bright future, you have to let go of your dark past.